My blog has been live for about six weeks. In the world of blogging that is nothing. There are thousands of people out there who are approaching their ten-year blogging anniversary. People who started in this business before social media even existed. I am sure that if I lamented the issues I have faced so far to these individuals they would roll their eyes and laugh in my face. My journey in this space is still very infantile.
For all intents and purposes I have working on this blog, and my very meager social media presence, for about six months. It was in July 2020 that while out on a run I decided I would start a lifestyle blog. I still have no idea why this idea came to me, or why someone with zero social media experience thought this was a good idea. And yes, I understand that six months is still a very, very short amount of time. I am reflecting on my time so far not because I feel I deserve some momentous reflective period, but because I am trying to figure out if what I am doing is sustainable, or even real.
I wake up every day contemplating whether I should continue forward with this job. I still have yet to meet a blogger in real life so I am not sure if what I am doing is correct. There is no “Lifestyle Blogging for Idiots” book (or maybe there is and in that case I need it now). I really do not understand what works and does not work on social media. It is one giant gamble every day when I hit the “Post” button. My clothes and beauty products are not all shiny and new. And I have yet to even get 100 followers on Instagram. I am sure there are children who could figure out how to get 100 followers in a day.
Sometimes I really just want to quit.
Last week I woke-up and really wanted to delete my Instagram, crawl in a hole, and chalk up this whole thing to a brief moment of overconfident stupidity. This moment was fleeting, but the overwhelming self-doubt hits me about dozen times a day. My head is constantly filled with questions like how do I build my brand (do I even have a brand?), what should I write about next, and does anyone even read the site? or care? The world of blogging is insanely sophisticated at this point and trying to play catch up with everyone is humbling and exhausting. Fun fact; did you know there are interior designers out there whose niche is designing houses for Instagram photos? Yes, they know how to design a room so that it provides a perfect backdrop every time. My house was most definitely not designed in this manner.
The positives outweigh the self-doubt.
There are some wonderfully positive things that have come out of the blog so far. Despite the rolling waves of self-doubt, I do feel that I have learned a lot about myself. I am happy that I started my own business when nothing else professionally was working out. I also started this journey terrified of getting my picture taken in public, but that is quickly fading as I have learned to silence the fear that people are making fun of me. Also, putting your life on the internet for people to “like” is teaching me to not let outside validation be how I judge my success. I am also working harder than any other job I have ever had. There is no clock in time, or clock out time. I am constantly working on something.
My favorite questions since starting this journey have been:
“It must be nice to just post a photo and be done with the day”
“Have you thought about what you will do when the blog is done?”
“I would love to have a job where you don’t have to work very much”
The feisty side of me wants to tell people off, but I am working on taking the high road in these situations. Also, I am quite sensitive right now since I feel like an imposter.
In the end, I have been humbled.
I will fully admit that in the past I have shook my head at the term “lifestyle blogger.” To me, these were some of the most vapid and narcissistic humans on the planet. I did not consider lifestyle blogging a real job. I have learned it is quite the opposite. Choosing to run a blog, and finding a way to be successful at it, makes you the hardest working hustler out there. That is the beauty of life though, you think you know what you are talking about and then something comes along and shows you that you know absolutely nothing.
