Breakdowns come, and breakdowns go.
A few weeks ago I had a breakdown/break through. I should preface this story with the fact that I am pretty new to Instagram. I’ve spent most of life avoiding all forms of social media. Successfully coasting through life with no insight into others’ lives and being only cognizant of my own situation. My breakdown occurred when I realized that despite vowing to be unaffected by what others were doing, I was copying others on Instagram in order to gain followers. I feel gross just saying that. The thing is I can’t physically, emotionally or mentally be someone I am not, so I was in a constant state of stress.
I started to think “screw it,” I am going to delete the platform and walk away.
My head was spinning from the constant barrage of videos of people manically jumping in and out clothes. I was tired of being bombarded by “try-on” videos of clothes that have the carbon footprint of a small country. Most importantly, I needed to save myself from feeling like my clothes, my life, and my general persona wasn’t worthy of being “followed.”
I wear what I want, when I want.
Now, for the breakthrough. I knew going forward I needed to treat social media very differently. Since the start of this blog I have felt this pressure to fit my brand into a category. I’ve never fit into one category, so why did I think that would change now? Katelyn Bernard from Editorialist perfectly summed up my feelings by saying, “People try to align with certain styles and say ‘oh, I’m a minimalist,’ or ‘I’m a maximalist’ or ‘a bohemian’—but you can be all of the above,” says Bernard. “Don’t limit your style with one fixed label.” This idea resonates with me immensely because my clothes and my personality are a little bit of everything. I needed to wear everything I have been hiding. The pieces that reveal my true self. I was going to open up myself, and my closet, for public judgement. I always say you do you, and it was time I follow my own guidance.
There is only one of you.
My biggest take away from the last week is that it’s scary, yet exhilarating to show your true self to the world. I was showing a side of myself that only my dog and husband knows. The eccentric individual who has propensity for vintage leather and sequins. All my unpractical emotional purchases I’ve made over the years were on full display this past week. The stories that go along with each piece required reading, versus zombie like scrolling, and inevitably resulted in unfollows. Nevertheless, it felt great to send out a message of wearing the pieces that truly reveal you. The items that show your life chapters and the depths of your personality deserve to be worn, regardless of whether they fit into a neat category.
Anyone can take a pretty, well edited, photo in the latest designer goods. But there is only one of you, and only one of your closet, and that is better than anything else out there.